"Freddie is my 5th child, he comes after 2 miscarriages so he is our little rainbow boy.
He is also my last child as during my 5th csection I was sterilised.
Breastfeeding didn't come naturally to me, I had my first baby when I was only 20 and was offered no support after delivery and lasted only 3days after leaving hospital before giving up and switching to formula.
My second baby followed 12months later but was cursed with crippling reflux, caused by a lactose problem boobing was eventually dropped because of poor weight gain in the end :(
By the time I had Austin who is autistic, I thought boobing was done for me so I didn't even try.
Then came Henry and I figured I'd try but not pressure myself I wasn't fussed on breastfeeding, fed is best said my midwife and it was wonderful! He latched and fed perfectly, I even managed to pump when I returned to work it was amazing and I loved it. We lasted nearly a year and he self weaned, which I was okay with the sense of accomplishment I felt was enough for me.
When I was pregnant with Freddie I suffered from gestational diabetes and obstetric cholestasis and had an elective section (my 5th) at 39weeks he weighed a shocking 9lbs13 making him the biggest of my babies and he latched right away, we were released 24hrs later my milk came in as it should but then disaster struck, cracked bleeding nipples engorgement and a baby that refused to latch, I was distraught, here he was, my last ever baby, my last ever chance to breastfeed and he was refusing! I was crying baby was crying I was a mess, hubby came to my rescue and dug out my manual pump.
I then fixated on pumping and wanted to only bottle feed Freddie my milk, nothing else was good enough for me so I began what I can only describe as a true labor of love which was pumping and then feeding Freddie and if I wasn't pumping or feeding I was having skin to skin with him and cat napping which lasted 2 weeks, I was exhausted and extreamly over emotional and had managed to shut poor hubby out. Then when Freddie was 17days old I had run out of pumped milk he was soooo hungry that day, he was well and truly hangry :) it was then I worked out what our issue had been, my section scar was causing my positioning to be off making his latch impossible, so I settled in my favourite spot and took a deep breath and that was it he latched! I cried with relief since then we have managed to boob in public which by the way is not easy with breasts my size! (38LL) and have even manged to fit boobing around our busy schedule and we are going from strength to strength, we have had some amazing support from some amazing friends (Megan & Maxine) and my hubby, without them I wouldnt have made it this far or been sane! My health visitor has even put me forward for a peer support job with my local children's centre which starts properly at the end of January!