Mind Your Own Bs

 

The Mind Your Own Bs campaign is designed to empower mothers in their mothering choices. To create a space where all mothering choices matter and are accepted and respected.

It is time to put an end to unsolicited advice and comments about all things B! Bed, Body, Birth, Boobs, Bottle, Baby,...

Because they are simply your BUSINESS!

Just because you gave birth, you should not suddenly be under interrogation, receive judgement or criticism for the way you choose to parent your child. You are the mother and you know what is best for your baby.

This campaign is all about supporting each other through this new journey called motherhood, embracing the ups and downs, reconnecting with our changing bodies and helping each other grow.

To everyone else we say...

Mind Your Own Bs!

Share your story using #MindYourOwnBs 

 

Read more about some of the campaign topics below:

 Mind Your Own BOOBS by Maria Betsworth @littlepeachlondon

 

It is hard for a new mama or even a veteran mama to know what is right or wrong. I remember feeling unsure about many things with my first one. Once somebody had pointed out something I do wrong, I would lay awake questioning the things I do and if they are right. And even the second time around, society and people around me like to give me a piece of their mind and educate me about the things I should or shouldn’t do because it will lead to XYZ. It is natural for all of us to rethink things loved ones say or even strangers and that can be hard whilst trying to find your own parenting style.

When it comes to breastfeeding there is such a broad spectrum of what is normal and most breastfed babies have a very unique behaviour, from not being able to sleep without the boob in their mouth to frequent feeding sessions even at 20 months, nothing is unusual or unheard of in the breastfeeding world. Society however, has different ideas of baby’s behaviours and that a mama should “take charge“ and perhaps implement a routine, stop nursing to sleep or “spoil” her child with offering as and when.

There are a few things I would like you breastfeeding mamas to know! Breastfeeding your child is between you and baby, whatever feels right to you is what is right for your baby. Until you feel like you should change a few things and wish to do that nobody and I mean NOBODY should have a say in your boobie business! And that extends to so many mothering topics. People just like to have a say unfortunately. YOUR happiness is what counts! What is it to outsiders if you spend hours nursing, nurse to sleep etc - how does it impact them and their life - if you are happy with your decisions stick to it!

There is nothing wrong with nursing to sleep, offering on baby’s demand, laying down next to your baby to sleep, all of these and simply all things you do are YOUR choices and you are the only person that needs to be happy with this. 

  

 Mind Your Own BOTTLE by Emily Draher @casualcontrast

The decision to bottle feed Millie was not an easy one. I was dealing with postpartum depression, latch issues that made nursing extremely painful, and horrendous dysphoria when I attempted to nurse her. I needed the guidance of a lactation consultant, but was too depressed and anxious to go to one. I whined and moaned to my husband that I didn't know what to do because there was no way I could continue to nurse her if it made me feel the way it did, so I began exclusively pumping and bottle feeding her.

Pretty much all of the advice or comments I received during that period of time came from a place of genuine concern - Em, this is so much work for you! Em, this takes so much time! Em, it's seriously like twice the work as nursing. Em, don't you wish you were just nursing? You're missing out on all the convenience and benefits of breastfeeding. Are you going to try to get her to latch eventually?!

The loudest voice in my head, however, was my own. It was saying - but this isn't what breastfeeding looks like...it's supposed to be a beautiful, natural thing, not something that requires sanitised medical equipment! You're not quite breastfeeding her since you're pumping + bottle feeding. Pumping is second-best to nursing. And worst of all, you failed at the first thing you were supposed to do as a mother! You're probably going to fail at the rest of it too!

Now, 8.5 months into my motherhood journey, with quite a few successes under my belt, I know that is not true. I am not a failure as a mother because I made the choice to pump, no matter what reasons attributed to that decision. Breastfeeding can look different for everyone.  It can be a preemie in the NICU getting her mother's milk through a feeding tube. It can be nursing-on-demand, nursing-to-sleep, tandem nursing, nursing in a sling, or extended nursing with a busy toddler. And yes, it can simply be a healthy baby drinking her mother's milk in a bottle, that her mom has sacrificed blood, sweat, and tears to produce and express for reasons that hers and hers alone!

Read more on her blogpost.

  

Mind Your Own BUSINESS by Emily Denise @emilydenisecrafts

 

For me, Mind Your Own Bs stands for Mind Your Own BUSINESS. As a mother you have to deal with a lot of unsolicited advice. Well (or not-so-well) meant comments from friends, family, even strangers.

One of those moments for me was recently at a family gathering. My baby was feeling overwhelmed by the big & loud crowd and wanted to stay close with me, on my lap. A family member felt the need to comment "that's not good, he's never going to become social if he only wants mommy" which I shut down with "by meeting his needs I am providing him with safety, and this will give him the confidence to be social when he is ready". I usually keep my mouth shut, because I have no idea what to say, but this time I had to speak up. When someone makes a rude or snide comment it can absolutely shake you to your core. Especially when it concerns your child, there simply isn't a more personal or emotional subject than your baby, who you love more than anything in this whole world. To these people I say: mind your own BUSINESS. I am the mother. I know my child better than anyone. Even if I am new at this thing called motherhood, I know what is best for my child. My advice when someone makes unnecessary comments is to say "I know you mean well, but I am the mother and I know what is best for my child". You got this mama!

 

 Mind Your Own BODY by Nat The Natural Mom @natthenaturalmom

Boobs, baby, business, BODY, bed... All these things have nothing to do with anyone but you and your child. Theres a lot that can be said for each of these Bs, but I’m gunna take a second to talk about our bodies.

YOUR BODY IS YOUR BUSINESS.

I recently had a troll tell me that I was perpetuating fat culture by being okay with my body. That I was unhealthy, disgusting and worthless because I’m plus size. That I need to lose weight or no man will ever want to have sex with me. (Because that’s my main concern as a married woman 😂)

Reading those words hurt me. I can’t lie and say that I don’t care, because although I am very happy with the woman I am and the body I have, I’m still human. You know what hurts worse than that, though? When friends and family feel the need to comment on your weight. This should never be a topic of conversation. You weight has nothing to do with anyone else, I’ve never told someone they need to lose weight, or that they’ve put on a few pounds; yet people think it’s alright to say it to me. Why? Because my weight is somehow open for discussion because my body carries more pounds than yours?

YOUR BODY IS YOUR BUSINESS.

It’s never okay to interject your opinions into the way someone mothers their child, the amount of weight on their bodies, or how they chose to feed their child. In the end, I will always do whatever the hell I want anyway because this child is mine, not yours. So even if it’s well meaning, do us all a favor and MIND YOUR OWN Bs.

 

 Mind Your Own BOOBS by Barbara Demske @firstlatch


When I started breastfeeding I most certainly never intended to breastfeed past one year. I would have gasped at the thought. Three babies, and nursing for a combined 80 months - I’ve been humbled.

It baffles me now, why the biggest concern is how long I breastfeed my children for and one the most common things I hear is that any mom breastfeeding that long is doing it for themselves. I can promise you - you CANNOT make a toddler nurse. So you know what I have to say to all the conditional supporters of nursing - meaning it’s only okay until a certain age, or all the negative nellies out there - Mind your own Boobs!

 

 Mind Your Own BED by Kerry Secker @careitoutsleepconsultant

Once you’ve got a small, everyone (including the Amazon delivery guy!), is suddenly very keen to know more about your sleeping arrangements and some may even have an opinion on them. Two of the first questions you’re likely to be asked is “are they sleeping through the night?” and “are they a good baby?”. These along with ALL the "sleep-shoulds" like:

- You shouldn’t feed them to sleep
- You should put them down drowsy but awake
- You shouldn’t let them nap on you
- They should sleep in their cot
- You shouldn’t let them sleep in your bed 

It’s no wonder that you’re feeling that you’re getting it all wrong but... 100% you’re not. You’re the expert of your small and there’s no right way to parent. That means it’s pretty impossible to get it wrong!

Whether you’re room sharing, bed sharing, in their own room, feeding to sleep, cuddling to sleep, they’re sleeping, they’re not sleeping,...

So long as it’s safe and you’re happy with your choice then it’s your baby and your bed business.

 

 Mind Your Own BABY by Sarah Lou @2mermaidz

I'm sharing Mind Your Own Baby, I'm pretty sure everyone can relate to the situations of 'Your baby needs this', 'You are doing it wrong', 'You hold her too much', 'She needs to sleep through', 'You should stop breastfeeding',... Man the list could go on and on and on!

There's a HUGE difference between giving gentle advice or being kind to telling people what to do with their own BABY. We all parent different, all babies are different, which means we can't all do the same things and wouldn't it be boring if we did?! One of the things I've experienced a lot is people's remarks on Marceline's weight. I've had 'There's something wrong with your milk', 'You should give her a bottle' or 'She's still that small', 'Was she born too early',... She's fine people, she is totally fine!

I'm always up for chatting about anything but you've got to be mindful of your language and the way you say things. You don't really know what's going on or how that person maybe feeling. It's ok to talk but let ME lead the way, don't give me unwanted comments or tell me what's right for my baby, I know my baby best, always.